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  1. #1
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    Default My wife has died

    My dear wife of 18 years, Janie Miller, finally lost her battle with breast cancer and died tonight at the age of 51.

    I was with her when she died. She died peacefully; at the end they were just pumping her full of morphine to keep her pain-free.

    She wasn't just my wife...she was my best friend.
    He is not here. He has risen!

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    My dear wife of 18 years, Janie Miller, finally lost her battle with breast cancer and died tonight at the age of 51.

    I was with her when she died. She died peacefully; at the end they were just pumping her full of morphine to keep her pain-free.

    She wasn't just my wife...she was my best friend.
    He is not here , He has Risen .... Tonight til forever your wife smiles at the face of God as she dances with Jesus ,,,, I am so sorry for your loss , I pray for you my brother ,,, your wife is HOME

  3. #3

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    My condolences to you DiosSword. May peace be with you at this time and always. I'm sure you were the best husband that she could have.
    "I've seen the future and I've left it behind"

  4. #4
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    I am so sorry DiosSword. Stay strong and God bless you and your family.

  5. #5
    Thelemech's Avatar
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    So sad to hear this. Thoughts and blessings for you and yours. R.I.P.
    Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law

  6. #6

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    Don't know what to say, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Keep strong.
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail pic extravaganza! http://www.black-sabbath.com/vb/showthread.php?t=31523

  7. #7
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    So sorry for your loss DiosSword. Thoughts & condolences to you and your family.

  8. #8
    Billy Underdog's Avatar
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    My deepest condolences DS. Stay strong, and don't cross the border.
    95% of everything i say is pure bullshit just for the fun of it. The other 95% is damn serious!
    Til įrs ok frišar ok forn sišr

  9. #9
    Vynlsol's Avatar
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    I'm very saddened to learn that DS, you have my condolences and will be in my thoughts.
    gadji beri bimba glandridi laula lonni cadori - Ball

  10. #10
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    Extremely saddened by your loss DiosSword...

    I wish you all the strength in the world in this difficult time...take care brother.

  11. #11
    OzzyIsDio's Avatar
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    Brother, just coming across this thread and reading it sank my heart and filled it full of sorrow.

    My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family.
    "Without Black Sabbath there never would have been an Ozzy, and without Ozzy there never would have been a Black Sabbath"
    "If there ever was a band whose voice is so significant and distinct, that band is Black Sabbath and the voice is Ozzy Osbourne"
    ________________________________________OzzyIsDio_ (YoY)

  12. #12

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    Sorry for your loss

  13. #13
    Sabbathman's Avatar
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    DiosSword, terrible to hear about a huge tragedy like this from a fellow Black Sabbath fan. So sorry for your loss.

    I pray that you will not lose everything else because of this, that you can overcome the sorrow and come to terms with it when time goes by and that you can find joy of life again.

    Psalm 34:18
    The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

    Matthew 5:4
    “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

    Revelation 21:4
    He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
    "He is the King of all kings, the keeper of light...He holds eternity's wings"

  14. #14
    TYR66's Avatar
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    Very saddened to hear your loss DiosSword . So hard to find the right words in these painful events of life. sincere condolences for you and your loved ones.
    Stay strong , mate.

  15. #15
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    Life it seems, will fade away
    Drifting further every day
    Getting lost within myself
    Nothing matters no one else
    I have lost the will to live
    Simply nothing more to give
    There is nothing more for me
    Need the end to set me free
    Things are not what they used to be
    Missing one inside of me
    Deathly lost, this can't be real
    Cannot stand this hell I feel
    Emptiness is filing me
    To the point of agony
    Growing darkness taking dawn
    I was me, but now He's gone
    No one but me can save myself, but it to late
    Now I can't think, think why I should even try
    Yesterday seems as though it never existed
    Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
    He is not here. He has risen!

  16. #16
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    So sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest sympathy. I wish you all the best, may your other loved ones be around you and care for you.
    Best,
    Linda

  17. #17
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    I will be able to live through providing my wife's memorial tomorrow and the church service on Monday but after that I cannot say how long I will last. If I don't make it, I want Joe and everyone on this board to know how much I have appreciated them over the years.

    http://pollockrandall.com/obituaries/12991
    He is not here. He has risen!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    I will be able to live through providing my wife's memorial tomorrow and the church service on Monday but after that I cannot say how long I will last. If I don't make it, I want Joe and everyone on this board to know how much I have appreciated them over the years.
    I have not gone through anything close to what you are going through at this moment. Anyway, I am pretty sure I would feel the same or similar. I imagine, however, that your wife would have preferred you to live long and (however impossible this surely sounds at the moment) happily. You will always carry her with you in your heart, and I wish you that you will be able to go through the grief of these days and, step by step, find new joy and meanings in life.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    I will be able to live through providing my wife's memorial tomorrow and the church service on Monday but after that I cannot say how long I will last. If I don't make it, I want Joe and everyone on this board to know how much I have appreciated them over the years.

    http://pollockrandall.com/obituaries/12991
    Randy , Jesus has conquered death for your precious wife , and has lead you to this path in your life .... praying for you hard , TRUST what remains in your journey , God is in control of it ,,,, Doc

  20. #20
    Vynlsol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    I will be able to live through providing my wife's memorial tomorrow and the church service on Monday but after that I cannot say how long I will last. If I don't make it, I want Joe and everyone on this board to know how much I have appreciated them over the years.
    I can only speak for myself, but I want you to know that I have appreciated your contributions over the years. Please find the time to go speak with someone - a friend, your pastor, a grief support group. I'll paraphrase and echo what Sabbabbath stated: I cannot imagine that your wife would want you to become diminished or destroyed because of this. I don't know if the two of you ever discussed it, everyone is different, but my wife and I have.

    Among other things, she has told me that if it were possible, it would hurt her even more than the cancer that is killing her to know that it caused my self-destruction as a side-effect. That made a lot of sense to me.

    Reflect on the quote in your signature and recognize that as devastating as your loss is, there are folks who have love, care, and concern for you that would be devastated if, instead of working through your grief over time, you let it consume you.

    I can't say I would not feel the same as you when the time comes (praying that it doesn't!) but it will pass just as sure as winter passes into spring. Your feelings are a testament to how strong and loving a relationship you and your wife shared - that is something to be cherished and thankful for having experienced.

    People care - you're worth it.
    gadji beri bimba glandridi laula lonni cadori - Ball

  21. #21

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    My deepest, utmost condolences, DiosSword.
    I pray that you find the strength to carry on, in the way that your late wife would want you to.

    If you ever need anything, don't hesitate. We're all here for you.

  22. #22
    Buffalo Bill Scruggs's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry Diossword. My condolences.
    Black metal > Whatever you like, sorry. *shrugs*

  23. #23
    OzzyIsDio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    I will be able to live through providing my wife's memorial tomorrow and the church service on Monday but after that I cannot say how long I will last. If I don't make it, I want Joe and everyone on this board to know how much I have appreciated them over the years.

    http://pollockrandall.com/obituaries/12991
    Embrace God, these are passing feelings DioSword, life is given by God and taken by him, be strong.
    "Without Black Sabbath there never would have been an Ozzy, and without Ozzy there never would have been a Black Sabbath"
    "If there ever was a band whose voice is so significant and distinct, that band is Black Sabbath and the voice is Ozzy Osbourne"
    ________________________________________OzzyIsDio_ (YoY)

  24. #24
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    Today is her memorial service and tomorrow is her church service. These are going to be the two hardest days of my life.

    Waiting for darkness
    Doesn't anybody see
    Deafened by silence
    Doesn't anybody hear.
    (I'm waiting darkness)
    Playing with fire
    But they're screaming
    When they're burned
    Out of the sunlight
    Hasn't anybody learned
    I know what they find
    Is in their mind
    Its what they want to see
    Spare me from the light
    Here comes the light
    And here I'll stay
    Waiting for darkness
    Promise me rebirth
    And then you tear me from the womb
    Give me my freedom
    And then you lock me in a tomb
    I'm waiting for darkness
    You gotta believe, you gotta believe its true
    I'm waiting for darkness
    I just can't concieve why darkness is overdue.
    Who knows the answers
    Is it friend or is it foe
    Don't ask me questions
    There are things you shouldn't know
    He is not here. He has risen!

  25. #25

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    Sorry for your loss.
    You bought and sold me with your lying words.
    Phil, your head's all full of lice!

  26. #26
    Iron Wizard's Avatar
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    I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm not sure what else to say. I can tell you this-for those 18 years no one has been closer to her, keep her alive in your memory; don't let that fade.
    You tried to suppress me
    But nothing holds me down
    Just when you think you're happy
    I come around

  27. #27
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    Today is her church service.

    After that...I don't know.
    He is not here. He has risen!

  28. #28
    LouiST's Avatar
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    Very sorry to hear this, man. I didn't know what to say at first, because I'm always over-the-top on this site.

    But, man, stay alive. Be alive. Not just for yourself, but for her as well.
    Do you hear the thunder raging in the sky?
    Premonition of a shattered world that’s gonna die.
    In the age of reason, how do we survive?
    The protocols of evil ravaging so many lives?

  29. #29
    zzzptm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    Today is her church service.

    After that...I don't know.
    I lost a son 16 years ago.

    You don't get over the loss, but you grow accustomed to it. You can find a peace in your heart to allow you to continue, even though more stress and hardship is ready to punctuate your future. There still are things of beauty and wonder and promises to keep.

  30. #30
    Billy Underdog's Avatar
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    hope you're reading the PM i just sent you, dude
    95% of everything i say is pure bullshit just for the fun of it. The other 95% is damn serious!
    Til įrs ok frišar ok forn sišr

  31. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post
    Today is her church service.

    After that...I don't know.
    We need an update from you please .... lot of people praying , please let us know your OK .... God bless you brother

  32. #32
    DiosSword's Avatar
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    Yes, Billy, I did get your much-appreciated PM.

    I'm still here.

    Right now, I just feel numb, like someone who's shot-up with Novocaine from the dentist, except that it's affecting me head to toe.

    Thanks for all the caring messages. You lot really are the best!

    At this point, I'm having to take it not one day at a time, but one second at a time.

    Oh, by the way, even though my dear wife really wasn't a Sabbath fan, she admired Ronnie James Dio, not just for his singing, but because they were both trumpet players. She would listen to RJD (whether it would be with Elf, Rainbow, Sabbath or his own band) and marvel at his diction/breath control.

    She also admired Tony Iommi for overcoming the loss of his fingers to become the brilliant musician he became, and for having the courage to fight cancer the way she tried to.

    Again, thank you all. You rule.
    He is not here. He has risen!

  33. #33
    Billy Underdog's Avatar
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    Fuck, man, you gave us a scare there. Good to see you're around.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiosSword View Post

    At this point, I'm having to take it not one day at a time, but one second at a time.
    That's the best way to do it.
    95% of everything i say is pure bullshit just for the fun of it. The other 95% is damn serious!
    Til įrs ok frišar ok forn sišr

  34. #34
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    Good to hear from you DiosSword...

    Was just thinking of you actually.

    Take care my brother and immerse yourself in music...I have found that to be very helpful during difficult times.

  35. #35

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    So sorry to hear that. Losing your other half way too early is a pain I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

    All the strenght in the world to you, brother
    "The consequence of conscience/Is that you'll be left somewhere/Swinging in the air"-Ronnie James Dio (1942-2010) R.I.P. King Of Metal
    "Just take a look around you what do you see/Pain, suffering, and misery/It's not the way that the world was planned/It's a pity you don't understand" - Geezer Butler
    "If god is in heaven/How can this happen here" - Phil Lynott (1949-1986)

  36. #36
    DISCMAN1969's Avatar
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    I am so glad you checked in. I along with everyone here was worried. None of us I am sure knows your pain at this time. All we can say and do is be here for you and help in any way we can. If ever you need to chat/vent or whatever you have a forum full of people who are here for you.
    "Dumb Ass" Red Foreman That 70's Show

  37. #37

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    Glad you checked in, DiosSword.

    One step at a time, brother. All of us are here for you.

  38. #38
    OzzyIsDio's Avatar
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    I'm relieved to see you check in brother, always reach out to some one, whether it be family, friends, or here on the forum.

    With time things will get better, like Vynlsol said Winter will change into Spring.
    "Without Black Sabbath there never would have been an Ozzy, and without Ozzy there never would have been a Black Sabbath"
    "If there ever was a band whose voice is so significant and distinct, that band is Black Sabbath and the voice is Ozzy Osbourne"
    ________________________________________OzzyIsDio_ (YoY)

  39. #39

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    Really saddened to hear this, I hope you are doing ok.

  40. #40
    ronn's Avatar
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    Praying for you
    Sorry to hear this Diosword

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